Modern Failure

A Final Thought On NJ

MacArthur C. Howard, Senior Time Editor — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:34:13 +0000

Friends as I get ready to go to sleep tonight, I want to leave you with one final thought on these elections, especially the one in New Jersey. Many political pundits would have you believe that Chris Christie’s win tonight was somehow a referendum on President Obama. It wasn’t. It was a referendum on Jon Corzine being a douche bag. Have a nice night.

NJ Results In

MacArthur C. Howard, Senior Time Editor — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:17:25 +0000

Well people that’s it. It’s over. Say hello to Governor Fat-Ass. With barely 50% of the vote, Republican Chris Christie has won the election for Governor of New Jersey. While we are clearly disheartened that our hand picked golden boy, Chris Daggett lost with only 5% of the vote (which is kinda surprising because I’m pretty sure he had been polling at around 14%), Christie has one big thing going for him (besides his gut): HE’S NOT JON CORZINE.

At least we’ve got that.

VA Called For McDonnell

MacArthur C. Howard, Senior Time Editor — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:32:43 +0000

That’s right folks! Politco has called the Virginia Governor’s election for Republican Candidate Bob McDonnell. If you didn’t see this coming then you are more retarded than Creigh Deeds. For those of you not from Virginia, Creigh Deeds was the Democratic candidate whose supporters were often called “Creightards”. I didn’t even make that up.

Oh well, congrats to Governor Bob, who has the nicest hair in all the land.

Last Minute Endorsement

MacArthur C. Howard, Senior Time Editor — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:24:52 +0000

With 38 minutes left in the New Jersey gubernatorial election, we here at Modern Failure have decided to make a last minute endorsement of Independent Candidate Chris Daggett. We’re making this endorsement for a few reasons. First, he’s not Jon Corzine, so you know, he didn’t run the state into the ground. Second, he’s not Chris Christie, so he’s not a big, fat, corrupt, fat guy. Third, he’s not bald or fat. Really he’s hit the trifecta. So go out and vote for Chris Daggett, the only the candidate that Modern Failure is endorsing.

You have 36 minutes…

We’re Back!

MacArthur C. Howard, Senior Time Editor — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:46:53 +0000

Hey there folks! It’s election night in America and that means that Modern Failure is back (kinda). We’ve been having some technical problems since the summer (and noticeably we haven’t fixed them). Hopefully the site will be back up sometime soon, but we’ve been getting frustrated and so until we can fix the site, we will be posting here. And of course by posting here, I mean… tonight! That’s right folks I will be live blogging about tonight’s election. I think maybe there will be 3 people anywhere reading this, but who gives a shit, I’m gonna do it anyway. So sit back, relax, and enjoy as I make fun of the results whether I agree with them or not.

On that note, Chris Christie is fat.